A SENSE OF PURPOSE
Are you lacking a sense of purpose? Get some inspiration here!
DECEMBER 2020 ARTICLES
LET'S START SMALL
by Jisoo Myung
If I am being entirely honest, I really do not think I have any purpose in being here - but that is only in the grand scheme of things. Finding a sense of purpose is pretty stressful and frightening, especially because of how easy it is to see the rapidly increasing number of successful people in the forms of entrepreneurs, the modern influencers, and so on and so forth (there really are too many). The expectations about pursuing a dream job, or the prominence of the grind and hustle culture shame people for not being on a constant upward climb in productivity, which is mentally damaging and easily crashes into a burnout.
Personally, I think finding your own purpose should start small, from what you enjoy. Of course this differs per person, but I think true life enrichment can be accessed by finding what gives you happiness, and committing to that instead of being pulled into what you think you should do, or what is expected from you. In my case, I get my sense of purpose through waking up to see the sky, or to get out and just breathe. By minimising my “sense of purpose” into smaller, more meaningful “bite size,” things, life doesn’t seem so scary anymore. A sense of purpose, belonging, or meaning shouldn’t only be rewarded to the ambitious few who go out with the goal to save humanity, or solve every single conflict in the world. It’s impossible to keep track of everything that is happening, and even more so to try and contribute to fixing them all.
Instead, if you want to, you should be able to feel the same sense of belonging from starting small and building up from there.
But as of now, my sense of purpose is to stay alive to see tomorrow; to be with my loved ones; to feel the comfortable warmth during winter and the soothing cool in summer; to see the leaves change colour and hear the crunch of dead leaves under my weight; to meet new people; to become someone I can be happy being… And I think that is more than enough for me right now.
As cliche as it is, we are all different and I cannot possibly tell you how you can find your own sense of purpose. Perhaps contrary to my attitude, you want to place a mark in history and keep your name remembered and passed down for generations to come. Perhaps you would rather make a grand achievement or advance humanity, and my desires may seem way too minor and insignificant to make any impact on you. But that is why you need to look deep within yourself and understand what it is that will give you that spark that gives you a feeling of belonging and purpose in life. I am merely suggesting an alternative view that is possibly more comforting and accepting.
A sense of purpose is found through what makes you happy, through what makes you feel validated, through what makes you enjoy life. Struggling to find it is obviously okay and normal, and my biggest advice is to start small, and go on from there. Even if it’s the excitement about breakfast, vibing to some music or the homey comfort of a hug - whatever you can think of, let’s start from there.
NOVEMBER 2020 ARTICLES
HOW DID I FIND MY CLOSEST FRIENDS?
by Hemin Pho Vu
You may have met a lot of close friends and heard them tell stories that sound like a dream and almost impossible to imagine the circumstances in which they became close, wondering how in the world would you be in that situation. Is it even real? Am I an outcast? Or did I do anything unethical in my previous life so that in this life I had to suffer the consequences? Actually, everyone has a few moments like that, so don't blame yourself. I also asked myself this question when I was in elementary school (wow, it sounds a bit pessimistic when I was young!) But I think my worries have been completely resolved. Here are some of the things that I think are the most important factors that brought me closer to the people I really understood.
1. Don't panic, and don't have high expectations
Don't worry too much or let yourself sink into a jumble of despair! I did not pay too much attention to this matter even though I was aware of it. How to say? I thought if life didn't allow me to meet people who understood me, would I die? And I found the answer to it by focusing on myself and doing everything the best I can. Actually, when I was no longer interested in finding friends, finding friends became easier than I thought. I found my first best friend in high school (and she was also my classmate in elementary school but we didn't like each other at the time!). Also, don't expect a perfect friend! No one will be perfect. Like how we set up an ideal of the other half and often fall in love with someone who is completely different from our imagination. The 3 best friends who later joined me on my journey all have a common starting point.
2. Stay active and be selective
I always arrange my time to participate in extracurricular activities at school. My friends know that I am an energetic and enthusiastic person, but in actuality, I am an introvert and prefer to stay at home than out. However, if we don't try something that we have never done, there is no way to know if we will like it or not. I made many good friends through various activities. In the process of getting to know each other, there will inevitably be times when you get acquainted with people who have a negative effect on you and then toxic friendships can develop. Gradually, I learned to refine my relationships and kept in touch with friends who really matter to me. Do not be afraid of being lonely, but force yourself to associate with friends that tire you out and must always smile awkwardly, because friends are inherent to share the burden. "A friend who understands your tears is much more valuable than a lot of friends who only know your smile."
3. Trust each other, respect each other
This is a pretty important (if not very important) detail in creating enduring and lasting relationships. It can be said that life can make us feel momentary and no longer believe in it. However, this is dependent on the case as not everyone's the same. So give others a chance to prove it to you, and also give yourself a chance to create unforgettable memories with them as companions. Most importantly, please respect the private space too! There are some cases, I know, where two people play together, but one of the people will not let their friend play with others . Everyone has the freedom to bond, and your friends befriending someone else won't affect your bond (if they really like you). So, don't be too possessive! Relax!
4. Show them who you really are
Let's define best friends! Are there friends who are by your side every important moment of your life, who will always share the joys of your accomplishments and encourage you when you have a sad episode? If you ask me to give my definition of a best friend you will receive a two-sided A4 sheet filled with scribbles. I have a lot to say about my views on friendship. This is not a requirement to be your friend. It was rather like a list of wonderful experiences I went through with my friends and which changed my views on my relationships with friends. One of the things I will emphasize here is best friends are people who understand who you really are. We humans often wear more than two masks everywhere we go. No matter how others judge you, your friends are the best people who see you for who you are and choose to stay with you. So let your friends see your true self! It's a booster that helps you get closer to your friend.
A small disclosure: When I was in high school, I was a person with a rather crazy and strange personality. I'm always energetic and straightforward with my ideals like Miyo Sasaki, she can transform into a Taro cat with a mask and is known by my classmates as "Muge" (Miss Ultra Gaga Enigmatic from A Whisker Away And just like Sasaki and my best friend Yoriko, I've got me four "Yoriko" who have always been by my side up until now!
5. Treat them like a family
I and my group of close friends are always present whenever one of us has a problem. Even though no one has ever said anything (well, we can't say sweet things and if we do, it's cringy so please forgive us), we treat each other like a real family and always give the most sincere advice to each other when one of our friends is suffering.
In short, making friends is an art. These are the things that I have done and I feel really happy and fortunate to have found the people who understand and treasure me the most in the world. It is like a dream come true. Remember, sincerity is key, and do the things you feel you should do with the bottom of your heart. Life will take you to the people you need to meet. Some will leave and some will stay. Respect their decision either way!