COMING OF AGE
& MATURITY
From movies to personal stories, choose from reality and fiction to reflect your own transition to adulthood!
MAY 2021 ARTICLES
"You Will Understand When You Are Older"
by Aruzhan Aimanshina
“You will understand when you are older.” Haven’t we all heard it at least once in our life? My mom used to give this explanation whenever I asked questions about things she deemed my mind too difficult to comprehend, like why people purposefully hurt other people. As a child, I always wanted to hear something along the lines of “Wow, you are so mature,” because it would mean that I have become more competent and can finally understand things I could not before. I anticipated the day to say, “I am finally an adult!” However, when you grow older, you face a disappointing but grounding revelation.
At some point, I realized that what my mom had meant by “You will understand when you are older” was actually: “You will understand when you are more experienced.” Although you have outgrown your parents, picked up more responsibilities, and seem to have acquired a more mature outlook on life, the fears you had as a child remained, and you are still uncertain of what the future may bring to you. Sometimes, you still do not understand why people act the way they do, and you still doubt your every decision. What you may notice is that some people, who may be even older than you, still avoid their responsibilities. Some people still refuse to recognize their wrongdoings. You begin to understand that even the same people you viewed as the prime examples of maturity are still capable of being immature.
You may have heard, “Maturity is not measured by age.” And it really isn’t. Personally, I do not think I have become an adult just yet, even though technically, I am already of age to call myself one. I still have several social skills to learn, like accepting differences in character or grasping intricacies in relationships. Even when we are way past our adulthood, we have rooms and rooms to grow. Even when the roots of our hair start turning gray and we start feeling constant aches in our backs, we may still not understand certain things. And that’s okay.
DECEMBER 2020 ARTICLES
COMING-OF-AGE
by Dahee Lee
It has been almost two years since I have legally turned adult in Korea. Since then, I have experienced and learned countless things. Although each and every experience is not to be recalled at this moment, I know that accumulation of such experiences have made me who I am right now. First of all, I now know that I should always put myself as my first priority. Before, I used to care about how people would think about me and how myself would be portrayed in the society. However, it took some time for me to realize that such things do not really matter and are not even real things. People actually do not pay as much attention to me as I think. Once I have come to this realization, I have become more independent and outgoing. Also, I have become more succesful in managing time by making a regular and fixed schedule, such as tutor sessions or exercise. I used to be lost in trying to figure out what I could do in my free time. However, once I have pushed myself to follow such fixed schedule, I became way more productive, efficient, and felt self-confident. This consequently helped me become more mature because now I know what kinds of activities work best for me. Lastly, I have become more aware and conscious of how the world works socioeconomically. When I was a student, I was only focused on getting good grades at school. Once I graduated, however, I felt like I was thrown into the society alone for the first time. Since then, I consciously made efforts to read news regularly and make wise spendings, which have made me understand the interwined interests in the world politically, socially and financially. It would took endless amount of time to enlist all, but the above three most accurately represent how I am coming more to age and mature. I hope you guys enjoyed my article and earn some takeaways!
PUTTING DOWN THE CAMERA LENS
by Jisoo Myung
Steadying my phone and adjusting the angle, I fit my friends into the frame and start filming. With harsh, golden streaks of sunlight highlighting their hair, and the dripping vibrant ice cream staining the floor, I also forget my own melting sweet and laugh along with them. The glaring sun glues our hair to our face, and the packed streets create a heavy humidity, but in that moment we feel blissful and free. Smiling fondly at the clips, I stitch together the special moments into one video, like a warm knitted sweater that gives comfort during cold, dark nights.
I’ve always been forgetful. I cannot even begin to list the number of experiences and memories I have forgotten. It’s especially embarrassing when others can easily recall such significant memories while I silently nod along without a clue of what they are talking about, despite being a part of those experiences. This is the main reason why I started recording different moments throughout the months - essentially, vlogging. Filming and editing these graphic diary entries were also therapeutic, because I could block out any thoughts and focus entirely on completing the video. These videos showed me different stages of my life where: I am different, the people I am with are different, and the environment is different.
Through these brief snippets of my life, I managed to recreate the romanticised “coming of age” narrative that I often fantasised about while reading Young Adult fictions. One where everyone is having fun, where even studying for exams looks nowhere near as stressful as it really is, where we carelessly stuff ourselves with street food and run around the mountain hiking trails with flushed faces and wide grins. But these polished, flawless depictions don’t even come close to the ugly and bumpy road I pushed through to get to here, covered in cuts and bruises - and here isn’t even here yet. As a 19 year old, I am legally an adult, but I cannot confidently label myself as mature or act as such.
I often find myself missing and reminiscing my childhood or teenage years through the videos and photos I often took to help me remember. These times felt neither real nor serious, and I could almost see the protective bubble that sheltered me from the grim world beyond it. I willingly looked away and ignored the looming threat of adulthood and desperately gripped at the remaining threads of childhood. The idea of growing up was both exciting and terrifying, but more so the latter because it meant that the comfort I felt would vanish and I would truly be alone. Having a fixed schedule and a set of responsibilities provided by my school made me feel more secure and grounded. I almost expected to be able to regularly see my friends and go on school trips or events together for years to come, even if I knew this wouldn’t be the case. I think the concept of change will always be scary when posed as a threat to stability.
But I am here now. Change is inevitable, and the first step to maturity is to embrace that. Keep the younger parts of you with you, but reach out to tomorrow’s you, next week’s you, the yous that are to come and stay. Today will always end, and tomorrow will always come, and you will always be you, so you shouldn’t abandon any part of you, to force the label of maturity. I don’t think maturity is a license that shows that you are above others, or serves as a measuring stick that declares how much more superior you are compared to your younger counterparts. To me, maturity is all about changing and learning and improving. It isn’t for others, but for the self - to see growth.
As University students, now is the perfect time to practice putting down the camera lens and look at what is in front of you through your own eyes, and feel and learn what is being offered to you. But of course, I think I will continue keeping the camera rolling, only, I will not keep my eyes locked on the screen, but properly live in the present and watch myself grow.
NOVEMBER 2020 ARTICLES
WOW, I'M 21
by Do Yeon Lee
What is it like to be an adult?
Since I wasn’t able to fully enjoy my first year as an adult last year (because of taking Korean SAT once more), I was able to enjoy my adult life better this year.
Being an adult means more freedom. However, more freedom means more responsibility I need to take. Freedom can be interpreted in many ways; I can do assignments late until night, use electronic devices during class for note-taking, searching, drink all night and attending class the next day, attend zoom outside while hanging out, etc. In other words, we can do what we want to do which we weren’t able to do when we’re students.
However, that also means we need to be able to hand in assignments on time although we are very tired, be able to be marked present although we’re listening to class anywhere, and be able to not make any mistakes and return home safely while being drunken. Sometimes, these responsibilities make me even nervous.
Although I’m an adult, my mom really emphasizes these responsibilities — not only my responsibility as a university student, but the responsibility of protecting myself and responsibility as a daughter and granddaughter. Therefore, this year, I learned how to do house chores, organize my house, treat my family politely, and right of self-determination.
Not only that but by meeting people of various ages — those not only my age but also those under my age, those over my age, not as a senior or junior but as a colleague, I found out that the age does not matter and there’s a lot to learn from different kinds of people. I learned to be active in leading conversations, be courageous, not to be disappointed with trivial matters and how to raise my voice in disadvantageous situations. I feel so thankful to those who taught me these.
I guess this is the end of my story for my coming of age. A little short, but this 350-word essay hopefully showed how I changed this year through freedom, responsibility, and social life.
SOUVENIR
by Jayun Won
Snuggling with a fuzzy rose-colored blanket, rolling on a pile of cushions, catching up on my hit-list of books and movies, binging on Netflix, lazily reaching for my drink of choice, my favorite place to relax and rejuvenate myself is my room.
After a tiresome week at school, pelted left and right with assignments, and being cooped up in that insufferably small dorm, my room is the only place where I can truly wind down. Spending 24/5 with a stranger is draining. It takes an even greater toll on me for I am quite an introvert. So, the first thing I do, the second I return home is put the kettle on for a cup of tea, throw myself onto my bed, and roll around until I hear the squeal of the kettle.
My room is my favorite place to lax because it helps me express who I am. I got to do the interior design for it myself. The space itself is catered to reflect my taste down to the most articulate detail. My room tells the story of me like a big scrapbook of cherished memories, one big memento that reminds me of myself.
The moment I open the door to my room fragrance from my favorite scented candles greets me. I have a variety of candles, but my room usually smells of fresh-cut roses in the summer and of vanilla and caramelized sugar in the other seasons. Beneath a crystal chandelier, three sides of the walls are covered with antique wallpaper imported from a boutique in France. It has patterns of small rosebuds smattered all over it. Opposite my window is the single white wall where I usually display my works of photography and illustrations. My curtains were custom made, with a cream base and a similar pattern of roses in a slightly lighter shade of baby pink drawn all over the linen fabric. If my walls and curtains were covered with primroses my duvet is patterned with large wild roses in full bloom vivid with color. My bed is mounded with soft pillows and cozy blankets. With the exception of my desk and chair, all of the furniture in my room are a shade of cream white with light pink undertones. My closet is jam-packed with clothing with rose-scented drawer liners beneath them. I also have an additional hanger right next to my closet weighed down with my favorite outers, ranging from jackets and coats to sweaters and cardigans. I am a literary enthusiast and a film junkie so on one side of the room are bookcases filled with rows after rows of books. I have a personal library located in a separate room but the selected few that take up an entire wall in my bedroom are my most prized collections.
It took me years to get my room into this state of perfection. Every second spent decorating and personalizing it was worth it. I loved every single moment. I believe that defining and expressing yourself takes great effort because who you are is not really a solid concept until you take the time and effort to find yourself. To me, my room is sort of like a symbol of that progress. It comforts me because it reminds me of who I am of what it means to be me.
I need that support now more than ever for a lot of things that happened over the years. I don’t know at which point but suddenly my life seemed to have veered off course. Everything seemed amiss. And I only realized that after I drifted a bit too far from my path. There was a time when I used to know how to appreciate things, a time when my life used to be more vibrant. Back then I had time to delve into myself to explore and to be better acquainted with myself. I tried to make my way back but it wasn't easy. One wrong turn leads to another until I get lost. Just like all my other relationships, I grew distant from myself ever since I entered high school. Maybe it is because I don’t like it here. Maybe it is because I am unhappy and that I think that this whole thing is one huge mistake or maybe I just don’t have the grit to pave my way back.
Regardless, I miss who I used to be. The scariest thing is that as time goes by I kind of get used to the person whom I have become. A version of myself that I least want to be. And I think that is one of the saddest things that can happen to a person.
My greatest fear these days is that one day I might completely forget who I was and wanted to be. But when I stay in my room I don’t have to be ruled by that constant fear. That alone lifts such a burden from my conscience. Just being there helps me organize my cluttered mind, it is like I put a piece of my identity away for safekeeping. The one place where I can be myself.
My room helps me remember the things that I loved and still love, and of the things that makes me passionate. It always has been more than just a space, it was made to be more than that, with every detail having a meaning, reason, and purpose. It reminds me of all the promises that I made to myself.
In French “souvenir” means memory as well as “to remember.” I think that is what my room is to me, the space itself being a “souvenir”, and my stay in that space is the act of “souvenir.” Not only is my room the ultimate result of all my painstaking endeavors to find myself, but every part of it, like a line in a book, carries an episode that incorporates itself into the story of my life.
OCTOBER 2020 ARTICLES
IN DEFENSE OF MISS INDEPENDENT
By Latifa Sekarini
A personal essay on accepting help and opening up as you grow.
To me, there’s nothing worse than feeling indebted toward another person. Whether it’s having to go to office hours or having to be paired up with other people for an assignment, it’s never a pleasant experience for me. It feels uncomfortable to wait around for an answer, but it’s even more uncomfortable having other people wait for you.
I’ve always prided myself on being Miss Independent. Unlike others, I thought of myself as mature. I didn’t need to hanker after teachers, asking them to proofread my essay. I didn’t need to consult my sister when it came to outfit choices. I didn’t need to text my friends to rant about my latest breakup because that need to have someone else around would invalidate my selfhood. But I was alright if my friends came to me and asked if I was willing to proofread their essay, or help them decide what to wear on a date, or maybe even rant about the person they ghosted last week.
As far as I can remember, I’ve always internalized the notion that the individualistic pursuit of things meant you were more capable than those who needed help. And this meant I was intent on solving everyone else’s problems, and my own, single handedly.
A close friend of mine recently expressed her frustration toward my contradictory behaviour after realizing that I had no problem comforting others, but would refuse to receive consolation from other people. “Why are you so intent on bearing the brunt of others?” they asked.
An anonymous source from a Psychology Today article speaks for me: “I like to be the giver in a relationship. That way I never owe anyone anything.”
One of my least favourite memories of high school was group work. Even in university, there’s not much guarantee you’ll be paired up with someone equally dedicated to color palettes on Google Slides as yourself. Apply that same standard to three over-caffeinated juniors, and see which one ends up carrying the team through a presentation and a class debate. I remember leaping off the bus at 6pm, one day before a presentation was due, while frantically texting one of my friends to email me the final version of our poster so I could get it printed before the print shop closes. The two other members on our team were unreachable. Instead of reaching out to the teacher to have a private conversation regarding these groupmates, I simply gritted my teeth and stuck it out.
Of course, online classes have forced me to be more critical of how I view my self-reliance. It is clear that my so-called self-reliance will do more harm than good. What am I going to do—hope the pandemic will die down soon enough for us to take in-person classes so I don’t have to sign up for office hours via Zoom and feel like I’m taking up someone else’s well-deserved time?
As much as I loved to imagine leaving high school behind, I find myself breaking my bubble of introversion and en route to my old school on a Friday afternoon. I suppose there's a first time for everything, because I felt desperate to catch up with teachers, to see familiar faces and laugh about how lonely we all feel. And for once, my desperacy transcended the urge to conceal my neediness.
I asked my English teacher that day, “Remember when you told us that as people grow older, you lose that sense of obligation to socialize? Like nobody is going to physically force you out of the house and be a functioning adult. You have to go out of your way to meet people, make connections, maintain those connections. I’m beginning to feel it.”
There was no shame in that confession, but there’s still a part of me that remains hesitant whenever I consider signing up for office hours. Andrea Panaligan calls it “the concept that we exist outside of what we can give other people.” It’s taking some time for me to learn that care isn’t some type of transactional tool. And immaturity isn’t signified by how much help you ask from people. It’s knowing when and how to ask for guidance. If being Miss Independent stops me from asking for that much-needed guidance, I’d rather just be me.
A GLIMPSE INTO COMING-OF-AGE
By Jayda Lim
Applying coming-of-age as more than a film genre seems more frightening than we think. It’s the time where teens, like us, transform into adults. It is also the time where we face a lot of challenges and responsibilities that can hinder us in finding ourselves.
Here are my 5 personal favorites that you can watch under the coming-of-age genre. Not only did I enjoy the films because of its basic structure, but they became my personal favorites given how it related to and reflected me as I was growing up.
1. On Your Wedding Day
A Korean film starring Park Bo Young and Kim Young Kwang! Personally, I found this a coming-of-age film despite how it also focused on romance.
Why?
The main characters met in high school and went through so much together in college, even by the time they had to look for their jobs. Even though the film was revolving around Kim Young Kwang’s character, you can see how he transitioned from being a delinquent to becoming an adult who gets to accept the realities of his life and his love for Park Bo Young’s character.
2. Ladybird
I wouldn’t want to miss Lady Bird as part of my favorites for coming-of age films. At the beginning of the film, it the beginning of he film, Christine (perhaps Lady Bird), expresses herself who wants to go to Yale University, however, there were a lot of factors that hinders her in her senior year. It wasn’t only because of her school environment and low grades, but as she hasn’t seem to find herself yet on her way to college.
Through her senior year, she went through a lot of experiences that made her feel love and pain, but by the end of the day, she was able to acknowledge herself with her true name, but not as Lady Bird whom she wanted to name herself. A notable part of the protagonist is her relationship with her mother. Although, we see that they seem to have a rough relationship, just like any daughter and mother relationship could there be, however we see that by the end of the day, her relationship with her mother truly meant a lot from her as she grows up.
3. Our Times
Another romance and coming-of-age film that is truly close to my heart. The development of the main characters when it comes to growing up was very heartwarming. It begins with the female protagonist reminiscing back her past with the male protagonist and her high school journey with him.
Through the whole film, you’ll be able to see how she grew up and became more confident with her timid self. She learned to appreciate herself and it definitely made me reflect on the things that have made me stronger as a person as well.
4. The Left Ear
The Left Ear was one of the Chinese films that I loved so much even before I understood the film on a deeper level.
I was watching it on an airplane on the way to Singapore but didn’t get to finish it. I knew I had to finish such a good film so once I got home, I searched it up to finish it and the ending was the most satisfying thing there ever was. The female protagonist, Li Er (a girl who’s deaf at her left ear), has been in love with a boy ever since they were in high school, and even up until she was in college. But as she grew up, she learned what she really wanted for herself. Watching it for the first time, I would think that it was just a romance film, however, I realized how the film talked about the different paths the characters went through until they found the courage to put the past behind them.
I loved how it transitions from their experiences from high school and how it burdens them even as they entered college. The film related to me in so many different ways: it left me happy and contented as I grew to accept myself. Moreover, it has made me stronger as a person.
5. The Edge of Seventeen
This is the ultimate film that definitely related to me on a whole new level.
It made me reflect on the choices I make every day. It talks about an outcast, Nadine, the female protagonist going through a tough time when her best friend starts dating her brother. Nadine couldn’t handle that fact and she doesn’t have other friends. It was shown that she isn’t only struggling with that, she was going through other problems as well. As I kept watching it, I somehow saw myself in Nadine, more than I expected. I had the same thoughts as her—how she changes and grows was definitely a heartfelt moment to watch. I remember crying over the film because I learned so much not only about myself, but I also learned to look at the people that I care about.
This is one of the films that I never forget about when it comes to coming-of-age. It may seem like your typical teenage angst film in the beginning, but I personally think that it can relate to a lot of teenagers like us, who are struggling yet facing the challenge of growing up.
