DAILY JOURNALS
Inspiring personal stories by our own students, reflecting on their own journeys of self-improvement.
MAY 2021 ARTICLES
BUSAN TRIP: A BRIEF PANDEMIC RESPITE
by Hemin Pho Vu
On the first weekend of May, most of my friends suddenly disappeared from the campus or were seen with their background somewhere outside during our “Principle of Microeconomics” Zoom class on Saturday. It turned out that they were taking trains to the city of Busan in separate groups at different times on Friday to make it in time for the annual sand festival in Haeundae district on May 8th and May 9th.
On the first weekend of May, most of my friends suddenly disappeared from the campus or were seen with their background somewhere outside during our “Principle of Microeconomics” Zoom class on Saturday. It turned out that they were taking trains to the city of Busan in separate groups at different times on Friday to make it in time for the annual sand festival in Haeundae district on May 8th and May 9th.
Besides this festival, the guests can take in a deep breath of fresh air and embark on a peaceful bare-foot walk along the shore, relishing the beautiful white sand that follows the palms of their feet and indulging in the sound seagulls’ flapping wings. In the evening, the dimming sky accompanied with pinkish and sometimes purple-ish twilights transforms the entire coastline city into something beyond artistic.
At night time, dazzling fireworks, constant sounds of coming waves, colorful street lights, and soothing songs from busker’s live performance wrap up the night in an appealing way. As I was browsing through my friends’ Instagram stories, the fireworks at night were gorgeous. At some point, I wish there was a teleport that took me there immediately just so I could feel that celebrating moment. New Year’s fireworks were canceled in the year 2021 due to the government’s social-distancing rules. That’s why an event like this reminded me of good times when we were having large gatherings in the street and waiting together for some fifteen-minute sparkles in the sky. In general, with a variety of beach-inspired activities, seafood, and people’s chemistry, Busan’s sand art festival is irrefutably South Korea’s authentic way of saying farewell to spring and hello to summer.
I read on the website that these meticulously made sand sculptures would be available to watch until May 30th, 2021. There’s a chance that I will have to compromise and finish my midterm while roaming the streets of Haeundae-gu and taking photos of these gigantic sand artworks. The sand art exhibition is indeed one of the must-go events before and after COVID-19. However, for an introverted soul like me, this pandemic season may be the only time that I can fully immerse in something held outdoors without having to feel overwhelmed by the heat from the crowd.
At the same time, I’m currently cherishing the tranquil vibe of Songdo campus—a place that is already notoriously famous among Yonseians for its long-established quietude and calmness. Hmm…I’m wondering what kind of glue they use so that the sand sculptures can stand against the Korean Peninsula’s signature strong wind and random stormy days?
JUNE 2020 ARTICLES
MY DAILY JOURNAL
by Jihye Nam
Writing a diary when you’re growing up is a part of the childhood memories we all have. I still keep my childhood diaries in my own ‘treasure box’ along with my other precious favorite stuff. I think many of you would feel the same, that when you grow up, it becomes harder and harder to write diaries every day or keep a record of our daily lives. However, there were special two months during my high school years when I kept my diary every single day.
There are various purposes of writing a daily journal - some people write diaries to keep a record of their daily moments, and some write special diaries for certain purposes (ex. diet, travel records, etc.). In my case, it might be surprising but the purpose of my diary was to overcome the darkness that prevailed in my life that time. Since I wrote it to relieve depressing emotions and overcome loneliness, I called it «My Depression Diary».
I’ll briefly explain the background of how I started writing this diary. It was the beginning of 2019, between the end of my sophomore year and beginning of the senior year. At that time, I was feeling so blue and bad about myself since I messed up my sophomore year - both grades and relationships. Even worse, I entered an academy to fully concentrate in studying, where students spend for about 12~15 hours a day at the isolated desk for self-study. This generated a vicious cycle: I would sit in front of the desk all day but negative thoughts or regrets randomly popped up and hindered my concentration. Since there was no one I could talk to, those dark emotions would take over me, and I had no outlets. As time went on, I felt like I was living inside my head soaked with the blues and wanted to escape the academy really bad. It was then that I felt the necessity to give myself an outlet for those emotions and I bought a pale-pink notebook, which became my closest friend for the next two months.
The contents of my diary were mostly about my hatred towards the whole situation, but lots of them also contain the funny and precious moments even in between those dark days. I’m very glad that I kept this diary since it helped me in various aspects: 1) Writing this diary provided me the chance to get to know myself deeply and honestly. While I wrote about my day, feelings, and sometimes deep concerns, I could contemplate upon what kind of person I am: what triggers my emotions, the past memories that formed the person who I am now, what kind of person I want to become and my values, etc. 2) Since this diary is the record of my darkest time, the diary itself provides me with the courage to overcome further hardships and stand up again. Whenever I’m down and powerless, I would read this diary and think: «It was a lot worse and depressing those days, but you know that you were the one who overcame that darkness and stood up again at last.» 3) One interesting fact is that my English writing skills have dramatically improved because of this diary. I wrote the journals in English so that it would be harder for others in the academy to get the contents right away. This in fact helped my English writing ability and deepened my interest in using English on a daily basis, which actually paved my way to an International College. For these reasons, I’m very certain that writing the journal endowed me mental comfort and even led to cultivation of my potentials. I therefore strongly recommend the readers, especially if you are going through similar situation that my past-self experienced, to try writing daily journals of your own in a regular basis.
Thank you for reading my story!
SELF IMPROVEMENT: A GRUELLING START, A REWARDING JOURNEY
by Alizah Bolar
One thing about self-improvement that’s commonly misunderstood is that it doesn’t necessarily have to be taken up by yourself. Sometimes, other people, the people around you, are the ones who propel you to take the first step forward. You don’t have to start your journey alone. This was something that took me a long time to realise.
Circa 2 015: I was very much in the throes of an emo-phase that I was comfortably convinced would never end. Smudgy black eyeliner? Check. All-black ensembles? Check. Angsty pop-punk music? Check. Pessimistic world-view with an utter disdain for socialisation? Super check. I suppose my only saving grace during that time was that I had the good sense to not give myself choppy bangs — things could’ve been much worse, right?
Despite having all the sensibilities of an “emo kid,” I, fortunately, managed to avoid the social ostracization that came with the tag. Much to my own surprise, I had friends — good ones at that. They were wonderfully cheerful, refreshing, bubbly, motivated, proactive. I could exhaust every positive adjective to describe them and I would still fall short of adequately expressing the bright warmth they innately radiated. My friends were, are, everything I wasn’t and never thought to be. This contrast, however, never bothered me. What utterly perplexed me, on the other hand, was that I couldn’t help but gravitate towards these people who were so different from me, who I didn’t appear to have much in common with.
At this point, though, I should mention that they didn’t know about the emo-side of me. I’d enjoy the ease and joy of their company, while neatly sweeping away the stifling anxiety, spiralling depression, and other problems that smothered me under the all too familiar and toxic rug of needing “space.” I could ask for all the space in the world and they’d be more than happy to grant it. But there’s only so much dirt you can sweep under the rug before it starts to rear its ugly head through the fringes.
Sure enough, they started to pick up on my crumbling functional dysfunctionality. Rather than suffocate me with excessive empathy bordering on pretension, preach the benefits of “seeking help,” or bombard me with mental health resources, they did nothing. We continued in our willfully ignorant friendship, turning a blind eye to my worsening music taste and deteriorating mental health, the latter of which felt like a dirty secret I had to hide, lest people find out and paint me in the strokes of shame and undesirability. But it’s precisely what my friends didn’t do that made the difference. In trudging down the untaken road of nuance and subtlety, they explored other avenues of providing emotional support that went unnoticed by me. It was only later I realised that not forcing me to open up about things I wasn’t ready to talk about gave me the space I needed to express my feelings, even if it was merely admitting to not feeling okay. Rather than lie about emotions, as I would before, I’d begun to pick at the wall barricading them, and myself, from healthy outlets and coping mechanisms. It was a
combination of hitting-rock bottom, a teetering desire to pull myself up, my friends’ soft coaxing and gentle guidance that culminated in me taking the first step to seek out much-needed professional help. Recognising the slump I was in and actively endeavouring to change it is a feat I will never not be proud of. I showed emotional sensitivity and consideration to myself in a way I never thought I’d be capable of.
To say my friends changed my life wouldn’t be an inordinate overstatement — of course, I wouldn’t say this because it’s cheesy and who gives their friends credit where its due? However, if it weren’t for these people who, in various regards, represent all that I aspire to, I wouldn’t have evolved into the empathetic, self-respecting, and unrelentingly persevering person I am today. Turns out that cheesy Grey’s Anatomy quote is true — people (really do) need people.
As I was writing this, the title that came to mind and what I’d decided on was: “Self-Improvement: A Gruelling Start and An Even Tougher Journey.” In many ways, this title reflects who I used to be — a pessimist devoid of hope. Indeed, that title is something the old me would’ve stuck with. The new and improved me, however — the person who’s grown into a better, healthier, version of herself — chooses to be optimistic in the face of formidable odds. Considering how far I’ve come, I’m going to allow myself that little hope of having my endurance rewarded.
This isn’t to say that self-improvement is a linear journey. It’s very much a winding, narrow mountain pass that frustrates you, struggles against you, and wears you down to the bone. Sometimes it makes you feel like you ended up right where you started even though you’ve made miles of progress — I’m still very much that 15-year-old girl who blasts angsty emo music, even though my wardrobe has expanded to include more colour. What I’m trying to say is, complex and baffling as it may be, self-improvement doesn’t have to be a battle you undertake alone. Once you find the right people to support you, it becomes an exciting journey to look forward to. You just have to take that leap of faith and believe things only get better from where you’re standing.
MAY 2020 ARTICLES
SELF IMPROVEMENT: WHAT IS IT AND WHY DOES IT MATTER?
by Jason Lebeck
It was my first day of 9th grade-- I was wearied from the past two years of loneliness, financial struggles, and familial tension that clouded my ability to focus in school. School? Hah, why did I even mention that? What was school to me? At that time, all I could do in school was worry about if I would go to hell or not if I died right at that moment. I know, you’re probably thinking I shouldn’t be worrying about going to hell in the 9th grade, but isn’t better to be prepared for it than to not be? I was really fragile at this time. I would even pray to God before bed every night that he wouldn’t take me in my sleep because I was so scared that I wouldn’t be found in the Lamb’s book of Life.
My fear of going to hell was so bad, that anything that could even be remotely considered sinful I removed from my life-- things such as music (Christian music included), video games, TV, and friends-- yet the latter thing I didn’t have very many of in the first place. The point is, I was really paranoid that I wasn’t good enough, that I didn’t deserve the love of God, let alone the love of anyone else and I let this fear prevent me from doing anything in my life. I felt like I was in a constant state of dread, as if I was walking a paper-thin tight rope over a sea of nails, yet the more I walked the thinner and weaker the rope got and the taller and pointier the nails became. All of this, and yet nobody would bat an eye to me. It was an invisible struggle, yet it was having very real consequences in my life.
Around this time, I heard of an opportunity from a friend to do a missions trip abroad in Osaka, Japan for a summer-- something that certainly caught my attention. The truth is, because I was doubting my salvation so much, I felt that if I went on a missions trip abroad then I would be able to ‘prove myself’ to God and in a way earn my salvation so I wouldn’t be sent to hell. Not the noblest of intentions, indeed, but it was enough for me to take a huge jump that I never would have attempted otherwise. The only problem was, I didn’t go to Japan. That missions trip did not happen. Instead, I ended up in Gwangju, Korea-- a place I had never even heard of, yet I was about to go there and share the gospel of something that I was truthfully afraid of rather than a faithful follower of. Yet it is through this jump that so many doors were opened. In life, we all have to take risks sometimes, right?
Fast-forward to when I made it to Korea for the first time: my first experience traveling abroad, my mind was popping with excitement when I stepped into the seemingly luxurious Incheon airport. In my country boy brain that had never known anything other than my small corner of the world in rural Oregon, Korea seemed like it was 10-20 years ahead in practically ever respect when compared to my town.
In Gwangju, I taught English and shared a faith I myself didn’t fully understand to very impressionable kids aged as young as 5 years old. Yet, through this experience, something clicked in my brain-- I was happy for once. I mean, I was really happy. It is hard to explain because I wasn’t doing anything particularly special, but I was really happy to just be alive for once. Every day brought
new experiences, and even though I was a foreigner, I felt almost like a long lost family member to some of the Koreans I met because they were so nice to me! It is during this time that my burned out heart and mind rekindled and I discovered purpose in my life; that is, because the Koreans were so kind and patient with my to help me rekindle hope and passion in my life, I decided that I wanted to whatever I could to repay them in whatever way I could.
Upon returning home, I had a newfound interest in Korea. Due to my interest, I began reading about North Korea and the struggles North Koreans face not only in their time living under the regime’s brutal dictatorship, but also in their potentially life-threatening escapes into China for various reasons including food, freedom, or to simply visit relatives. It was this interest that drove me for the first time ever to care about my academics: I realized that if I could utilize education to get myself out of the pit that was my rural town, then I could be in a position to be able to dedicate my life to fighting for human rights and not just be wasteful and live aimlessly as I had done before. In other words, I realized that if I really wanted to change the world, the time to do it is not ‘when I grow up’-- the time is now.
Since then, there were challenges, sure, and although I do not have the time to go through each one in detail, I can offer you an assurance that perhaps you don’t need to be in control of your life. Let me suggest that self-improvement can be for you what it was for me-- a mistake, an error-- something birthed out of fear and a bad situation that became something that changed the very fabric of my psyche. That is, by being afraid of going to hell, I ended up going to Korea; and by going to Korea, I ended up back here again now, as a Yonsei student, living, learning and growing ever closer to my purpose and still learning. By no means am I where I want to be yet, but thanks to the love others gave me, I was able to snap out of my depression and unlock a higher value to my existence. I hope that you will be this person for someone else. The truth is, self-improvement isn’t always a choice you consciously make-- however, it is a series of events that happen in your life that force you to change whether you want to or not.
QUARANTINE TINGZ: TRYING NEW WAYS OF CREATIVITY
By Julia Kim
We’re bored in the house and in the house bored. Quarantine, but make it personal and creative—have fun.
New Year resolutions, agendas, journals… we all have a few things that we were supposed to try out and achieve throughout the year, but never did. Maybe you promised yourself to work out regularly. Maybe you wanted to bake more often. We all had plans in January…
What we didn’t plan is the COVID19. But with quarantine and social distancing, some places even being locked down completely, it seems that all we are left to do is stay home, do school work, and binge watch Netflix. So when is a better time than now, where we literally have all the time in the world with so little space to use it at, to check off that January first resolutions list?
I challenged myself with three personal endeavors throughout the week. The goal was to create more creative creations through different mediums. Photography, video editing, painting, baking, digital art… you name it I’ll probably try it if I haven’t already.
If you’re worried that all of these sound distant to you, don’t worry! I too wasn’t familiar with any of the programs or materials. Allotting a day only is actually enough investment for starting off. You learn so much more than you think, and you get done so much more than you expect to. Obviously a single day isn’t enough time to master anything, but I now feel like I taught myself the habit of creation.
1. Painting—Acrylic and Watercolors
This is by far my favorite of all the other creative outlets I have tried on this list. It’s now a crucial part of my daily routine, and I try to draw something and relieve stress whenever I can. Every night—jokes on me, because every night I have school work due—I finish up homework and studying (or I don’t), reflect on the day, decide on a topic that summarizes my mood or anything special that happened, and give it a go.
Here’s how I decided on what to draw:
1. What am I grateful for today?
2. What color scheme would I express my mood with?
3. Do I want to paint a specific object, or do I just want to have fun with paint?
You can add as many questions as you want, or change them as you want. But my drawings were usually something I saw that I thought depicted my day. On “a box of chocolate can fix anything” kind of day, I’d draw literally that—a box of chocolate. On a “I don’t know what to draw but I want to draw” kind of day, I’d meddle with abstract painting—the pendulum paintings were a trend at some point. It doesn’t require so much drawing, and a lot of paint is needed, but you never know how the outcome will surprise you, and it’s so fun to make too!
2. Digital Art and Photoshop
There are a thousand different ways this could go. You could be drawing the way you would on paper, designing something new, distorting existing images to produce something else, or editing photos even. You name what you want to do with this, and you most likely can—you can even paint on Photoshop.
There are two reasons I thought digital art was amazing:
1. There are so many resources online. If you think of an idea—literally any idea—that you want to make happen in real life, search it up. There’s probably someone on Youtube who gives a 20 step tutorial on it. Even if you’re unfamiliar with the tools as I was, it takes only an hour to learn how to use the most basic ones. And if you need to learn more to finish your piece, you can learn it on your way.
2. You can start from scratch, but you don’t have to. Again, there’re so many resources out there from free patterns and photos to illustrations and drawings. You can use them as reference, use them directly, or use them as inspiration and do your own thing—it’s all up to you.
If you’re color matching is disastrous and you never have a clue on what saturation to put colors on, visit coolors.com: they provide color palettes that just make sense.
3. Video editing with Premiere Pro
I definitely spent more than a day on this. Premier Pro was by far the hardest of all three, and the two or so days I spent on it were literally arduous. Here’s why:
1. you need good equipment. My good old laptop was not strong enough for such a heavy program, and would shut down continuously.
2. the program itself isn’t very user friendly. You have to know which tools to use for particular effects; the more you know, the better job you can do. If you’re unaware of something, however, there’s a low chance that you would “stumble upon it and learn.”
3. the program is for quite professional use. Terms are hard, some seemingly even unapproachable.
Despite these downsides, Premier Pro was still interesting because there were so many new things I could do as I learned more tools. Just like Photoshop, there are a myriad of sources that teach you different tools and tutorials, so it’s wise to make use of them!
If you’re not a Windows person or don’t have Adobe programs, you’re free to use whatever platform you have access to. Wherever it may be and however you may do it, I suggest you jot down some ideas and create something for yourself too. It relieves stress, spends time, revives the creative energy, and is all in all entertaining!